Us

The Loneliest Man In The World

Have you met me, and seen into my heart.
Did you look, past the end of your own nose.
Seligman's dog
Not-friendly pooch.

Why would you care

It is always going to be
Too late or not too soon.
One day I will crawl under the house
And no coaxing will bring me out.

Did you see what happened,
Did you feel that, and know.
Ring it like Ivan
And I will drool for you.

You didn't and you never tried

There is no place for a Brukhonenko,
Not when my mind is me.
I made it easy: you should have looked.
I'm a dog.

The Dog And Chain

With slender frame, and wire fur,

Four leather shoes to foot.

With ears that see,

A nose to see,

And eyes that see when shut.

A little boy, that loves no one,

Has time for everything;

And wants to see,

And wants to feel,

And wants to feel something.

His neck is bound,

His senses muzzled;

The chain is yet to cut.

He breaks away,

And tastes the air,

Loving with every; but

He runs and runs,

Heart spilling with every step,

But the chain has yet to cut.

It chokes the nose,

And rings the ears,

And streams the eyes when shut.

With slender frame, and wire fur,

Four leather shoes to foot.

With ears that see,

A nose to see,

And eyes that see when shut.

A little boy, that loves,

Has time for everything;

And wants to see,

And wants to feel,

And wants to feel something.

His neck is bound,

His senses muzzled;

All is stole from him.

He'll chew his foot,

And bite down hard

If the chain is yet to cut.

He breaks away,

And tastes the air,

Smells the earth

Shakes the fur;

But has the chain been cut.

The Nature Of A Dog

I am the dog, sat
By your feet.
Listening - I do listen;
But why does that matter
When you are not interested.
Talk to me; don't
Let me answer!

Whatever
I say the answer
Comes from you.
I play at tasting,
And chasing.
I learn your good,
I whimper at your bad.

I give you what,
You sound like you want;
But I am just the dog!
What good is
A bunny still alive?
I didn't know, not this one.
That's how I survive.

A Gypsy's Key

I have the key,
I've got the key
But to what,
Who knows where;
Or how to get there
Or why. Still
And still I try.

Sometimes I sit and beside me I cry,
Where I look
Of all I search.
I try try try
But it doesnt fit,
There is no place that seems to be
To fit the me, to fit this key.

Give it up
Show me the way, this goddamned noise
Deafening me
Drilling into my skull,
Letting it all drip out

Then I am nothing but a mess
A puddle on the floor
Crying on the key.

Is that the door?

For When The Devil Is Behind You

Don't forget
All flowers push up through dirt,
No matter how bright and beautiful.
It's what makes you unique,
Enigmatic, and you.
Labels cannot stick to you, never, not
Like the others and the others do.
Embrace the freedom that has given you wings.

Beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder,
Rather, (and here comes the maths) it is everything you do
Over everything you don't,
Added to everything that is you.
Don't stay in the negative too long
(Logic would assume that negatives are just wrong)!
Everything that is beautiful, is everything, is
You.

Fire, Glow

In the drip drip dripping tap,
I hear the tick tock ticking clock,
And the chimes as it strikes: 
Nine on the mantel top.

The fire pop pops and crackle cracks,
As the silence of the snowy night
Rap tap taps at the door.
There is nobody here;
now or ever before;

But the fire burns
And the clock ticks on -
And will only stop when the time is all gone. 
The comfy sheets, and those puffy pillows 
Will st

ay permanently plump,

Eagerly awaiting

The last pops and crackles from the hearth,

The quick cold footsteps

And the slump and the two bodies jump

Retreating for the night. 

In the ticking clock I wait,

Tending to the fire 

The kettle at the boil, 

Ready for desire,

I keep the pillows plumped

And the home a beacon in the night,

That her adrift in the snow dark sky will see my light.

Yet still there is wine and tea and food to eat, 

Warmed toes by the fire.

What can I do, 

Everything is ready.

All I need is you.

Day Four - The Cat Naps In Camp

The cold plastic material smell
Blotting out every other sense,
As the husk drips and sweats
With the dark breaths of night.

The tearing shudder
Throwing back the skin,
Dragging in the morning light
As it sniffs at this new day.

Jostling for freedom
The man is expelled,
As the day reaches for all it can:
Kissing, dewy, blissful white.

The air holds nothing of the night,
Only the smile is left:
This absurd world -
Stretching into the day

Like a lazy Chesshire Cat.

Kubus Only Tasted Good Because You Recommended It

The best thing I have ever known
Is seeing your smile
Blot out the summer sun.

The sweetest song that has ever been sung,
Flutters around my head
With every word you speak.

The closest to peace there ever was,
Is sitting by your side,
And the touch of your hand.

Without you, my life would go on;
Without the warm Summers breeze.
Without you the colours wont shine,
They wont paint pictures
In the Autumn leaves.

Without you a smile uses muscles,
To counteract a frown.
With you, I hardly noticed;
But it was always around.

If only time could stop,
Then I could win your heart.

You don't love me
And probably never will.
I wanted to tell you how you make me feel.
To show you.
I could never do that.  I love you too much.

The best thing I have ever known
Is standing in your smile.
Though it is all it might ever be

I just can't stop.
I can't stop loving the birds, the littlest insects, people as the pass me by,
The leaves, and the trees, the sun, wind, the rain;
The night, the day, food;
Every little problem in my life, every success,
Every time I think it is the end.

It shines on in pure blissful knowledge.
It shines because you make it shine.

The best thing I have ever know
Is you.

So Pitiful

I liked to think I wasn't alone;
But even my own reflection wont look at me.
I cried the other night,
Only to find myself
Mocking and laughing
At the idiot that I was.
I find myself
Just barely tolerating
My feeble body and weak mind.
Shedding my skin
Like returning home after a winter walk;
One that involved much exertion.
I don't care much to think of myself,
I am not sure we even get on,
I'm happy this way.

When Only The Clouds Move

Don't be so sure,
It's as easy to say it wont snow tomorrow.
I feel the cold, can't you.
My limbs and extremities shook,
All I feel is numb.
Like ice, only not enough hair
To stand up to this.
A lot can happen before tomorrow.
Its getting cold as this day
Only grows short.
Where is everyone.
Time is ready to freeze
The blank sickness
Of the white sky,
And the tame frosted glass
Grass hills.
All still like a night illuminated;
I sit smudged across
A photo of warmth and awe,
In this frozen scene.
I burrow and dig,
I am long gone,
Frozen: just ice.
You'll come out in the thaw.

Broken Compass

Did you hear me call you,
When all beds had partners?
I was going to call on you;
But what would I say.
Nothing can make the time up.
Like those you really love,
Time: when you realise, its gone away.
I tried not to dream of you, last night,
When we slept, so far apart.
I heard your voice
Before I seen your face.
I never knew you, before;
I don't even know you now.
I search days, days,
People and faces,
Where is your congruency,
Just the negative
Sitting still like the photo,
Waiting for the light, my life,
Spinning in illegitimacy.

Epitaphs In Grey

The grey upon the grey,
In a grey night of grey,
Upon my grey white pillow.
My eyes grey to black.
Out of my grey sight
A little black grey figure
Rounds the grey white crest
Of my grey white pillow,
Sitting in the grey of night.
The little grey brown spider,
Seeing my eyes grey to black,
Scuttling fast across the grey white mass,
Into the black grey of my mouth.
I can't move in the grey night,
Upon my nest of grey white,
As the grey black sits heavy
On my grey flesh.
I feel the grey brown legs
Stopping on my maroon grey tongue,
Then scuttling down into the grey black gullet.
My body frozen in the grey of time,
In the grey night of grey:
A corpse of grey,
Lain upon a grey white grave
In the grey grey night.
The grey green light
Turns grey to black.

I Don't Mind

Sweet mind, little mind, or no mind at all;
I don't mind,
If you don't.
Just don't call, I can't be talked down;
I've been built up for the big fall.
I can't be talked to:
Talk to you, I wont.
Let us look at my chances,
And think about
The whole lot of nothing
That you can do.
Think about it and see,
Everything I say
Might be true;
Then again I might have lied,
At least you tried;
But seeing inside from outside
Is as hard as can be;
Don't you agree.

Say what you like;
Sweet mind, little mind,
I don't mind at all.

Dead Man's Bells

Dead man's bells,
Dead man's bells,
Louder and louder, driving me madly
Towards the tower.
I'll climb the steps
And throw myself
From the Dead man's bells.

Dead man's bells,
Dead man's bells;
To drive out this pain,
Sitting like a ball
Deep within my pit.
I can't tear it out,
I'll flush it out
With the Dead man's bells.

Dead man's bells,
Dead man's bells;
A sweet silent song you sing,
Teach me how to sing,
Let me drink you in;
I cannot think of a song more beautiful,
Than the silence you will bring,
As I attend to chorus
Of the Dead man's bells.

Dead man's bells,
Dead man's bells;
I wish I had never heard you sing,
I wish your beauty pass me by;
But now I've been sucked in.
You drive me mad,
Dead man's bells,
And now I hear no other song.
The only way to stop the Dead man's bells
Is the Dead man's bells.

In The Rain

I'm looking for you in the cold grey rain,
To stand besides, to watch the night roll in.
The water slips from my hair, running down my skin.
Where are you, black shadow girl,
To find love in the cold grey rain.
The wind stings a frightened dog nip across my cheek;
Where are you to ease my pain.

The Hollow Husk

I gave my soul away,
To whom I cannot recall.
Wandering lonely in the dark,
My hand runs the wet cold wall.
Inside I'm just a rat in a maze:
Inside, an eternal fight.
Whom has the quest to lift this curse,
Who can put it right.
So I wander on waiting
For the day to save my soul,
No light at the end of the tunnel,
No relent in the endless goal.
I fear not in the dark,
Which I do of I,
My own worst enemy;
He whom tells to give up and die.
I wish I could hear,
I wish I only asked why.

The Hard And Dirty Feet

One pair of feet
Carry this sad sack of shit,
Through this meandering mess of a life.
Holding only memories,
The rest slipping;
Falling through the gaps
Never to be seen again.
Searching, forever searching,
Never finding,
Not knowing what's even being searched for.
Moving like the wandering dead,
A deathly shadow with no place to rest;
No place that feels like home,
No love to kindle love:
The love that burns, yearning.
And so, these lonely feet
Continue to roam.

Waiting For Her Sun

The air sits still in the valley,
As the wind rushes past above,
Spots of rain begin to infest
Each of the slate flagstones.
The trees watch silently
The day passing by,
In this forever lonely
Grey pallor world.
Peace:
Like the hours before the dawn,
Dark and deathly;
Where nothing seems to move,
Only the rain falling
In lethargic tear drops.

Crying out for the warm kiss of sun,
To feel her touch
Upon skin, earth, and everything
Blessed by her beauty:
Golden rays, brushing over the land
Like the long angel locks,
Falling from her crown,
Framing this world, mirroring
Her enigmatic face
That captures the heart
At the very first glance.
Clear the weeping rain from the step,
Running hands through golden hair;
Come sweet kissing sun.

A Flower Kept In A Pocket

You can't see the words I speak
When nobody is around,
Or what I think when I look,
When I don't make a sound.

You can't sense what I feel
When walking in the wood,
Or why, at all, I walk.
I wish you could.

You don't see the beauty
That burns my soul,
Or what I want, what I need
To make me feel whole.

You don't see the light
That fills this place,
Or the sweet scented flowers
That at your feet, grace.

You wont ever look with these eyes of mine,
That see this truth;
And for all that is written and drawn,
You are the living proof.

You wont warm to the touch
Of my two hands, you see.
I'll hold them out wide
And you'll never come to me.