Confession To My Love

I've fallen in love with someone else,
Someone different and new,
I wasn't expecting it to happen
I'm at a loss as what to do!

She's beautiful and charming,
She's also cultured and smart;
She is picturesque and calming,
And I dare say she's captured my heart.

She's a breath of fresh air,
And she lives life without a care,
Which is all well and good
But she's also got no hair.

She has got many different faces
But don't worry love, don't fret
Because she's overgrown in places,
And quite heavy set.

Please, love, don't hit me with that pan,
I was hoping she could take share with you of me,
Don't worry though, I am not her only man,
Because her name is Saltburn-by-the-sea.