Monday 31 October 2011

The Only Goodbye

A dog that knows you
Will never bite your leg,
And since day one you bit
Off way more than you could chew;
You think you could know,
You couldn't even tell the truth,
You never knew what to do;
Your an empty shell biting down,
But only on the denture;
The only port in the storm,
Not even a thirst quencher;
You never knew,
But you know, because that is just what you do,
You can carry your bags of shit up that hill;
I'm off to adventure.

Bad Photographs Hold

The silence was deafening
As my heart soared,
On the wing of a startled pheasant;
A day so brisk, ground well sodden,
But nothing less than
More than pleasant;
Forever on paper in black and white,
But the colours were so breathtaking:
A perfect silence, a face so bright,
A memory in the making.

Thursday 27 October 2011

Grouse

I wake up extra early,
While you are still asleep;
I dress, and put socks and shoes on my feet.
I creep downstairs, head out into the black,
I am all prepared,
I am never coming back.
I walk fast, hidden
By the thick nights goodbye kiss;
These dales and fells that I crest,
Are all that I will miss.
Atop the royal purple heather,
Atop this fervent forgotten heath,
I look to the clusters of sheep,
Grazing far beneath.
I walk down through a dale,
Across a boggy fen,
Like a ship at half-sail,
I go wherever and when.
The day was grey and bleak,
Yet the wind and the world;
And the moors, were tiring and meek;
As the sun took his last gasp,
Dipping beneath the waves,
I made it to the forest, of the forgotten graves.
It was dark, my feet were aching,
And my chest was yawning;
As I lay down on the soft pine needle floor,
To wait for morning.

Wednesday 26 October 2011

Dry Wood

I had you,
I had you,
I had you,
I had you;
I have nothing, and I am all alone.
I find comfort in the proximity of my fears,
In this dark wood that I roam,
And when I cry, nobody hears,
I feel no place to call home,
Just respite from these calluses and blisters:
Keep moving or the oil will burn away;
Everything was here, but it all just missed us,
If I stay, leaving only becomes the fear.
O where are my brothers, where are my sisters;
Never so near as so far away, I dream,
Just a dream that our mother kissed us;
And on this path there is a toll to pay,
Just a dream, just a dream, for that love I pray;
Just a dream to sleep,
It comes and it goes away.

Tuesday 25 October 2011

Domesticated

In the darkness I am the black wind,
In the silence I am the white noise;
I move as the insect, on the forest floor:
Don't stop, just keep moving.
Just keep going;
Before you become stale,
Before you blend into the cacophony,
Before you are swallowed up
By everything around you,
Before you become, before its time.

The pictures within pictures,
In backgrounds on the wall,
Will never be, will never see,
The big picture of it all.

You look at the flowers too long,
You will see them mulch and wilt away;
You hold on to the dog too long,
It is never going to stay,
Understand it is just a stray,
It will come around some other day.

Wednesday 19 October 2011

The Ying-Yang of me

I have my moments, my piece to camera,
My moments in the sun;
Still the doppelgänger brings the hate,
The dark clouds roll near,
Nights prowl closer and closer,
The black has almost come.

I fill my world with smiles,
To break up the coming night;
Still the black injects, my soul it infects,
I cannot win this fight.
And every smile I give,
And every smile I take,
I leave a string of changed courses,
Rolling in my wake.

The black it floods out of me,
In every kiss and touch,
Dousing flames of passion,
With an inferno that's just too much.
Oil ignited with blank emotion,
Fires of beauty that burn so deep,
Some water, beat it back, spill an ocean;
A pipe, a lamp, please someone that will keep.

The sun slowly sets on me,
With shoulder and nose bright red;
I over-did it once again, the only souvenir the pain,
It doesn't matter: all is said;
And the sun fall from its highest height,
Because at its best it's dead.

Tuesday 18 October 2011

It's Not God

Praise God, Praise God;
All hail! Praise God,
Thank you for what we are about to receive,
Thank you for what has just happened! ...
Always silence, never 'your welcome',
I ask you how can we truly believe?

Help me my Lord, Help me please,
I beg you and I fall to my knees;
When your helpless you need a release,
To calm your fears, to explain your luck;
Let me postulate; if there is a God,
He doesn't give a fuck.

We are nothing more
Than fishy-wishies, in a tank,
No better than a whore;
We do what we can to survive:
Just seeds scattered upon the shore.
We see it and look away.

It makes me laugh, and it makes me cry,
When I see your blind faith innocence;
That fresh beck sparkle buried within your eye,
I sigh, I want to show you more,
I would teach you everything I ever saw, I ever knew,
I will teach you to be a whore.

Once again we travel all day, and still remain
Nowhere, from where we once set-off,
My life so full from living, yet my heart
Has never been so bare,
I have no prayers to throw out there;
I have no reason: I'll always love and always care.

Friday 14 October 2011

Every Animal Dies Alone

These old clothes don't smell of you no more;
The smell of youth and Summers on the shore,
Just dead cigarette smoke and tears.

These dry lips ain't smiling with your kisses these days;
The set of white soldiers, singing sweet love-songs,
All I have is the swollen gums and gristle of gritted teeth.

These hazy eyes wont find what they're searching for;
The beauty of sepia smiles and slow motion, on an Autumn day,
All that is left to see ripples in these piteous tear-drops.

I will love you with all my heart,
And any pain you can mend;
But a man that can find no love for himself
Will only hurt in the end.

These hard cold hands still miss your touch;
Biting Winters by the fire and early mornings in bed,
Now all they do is hold each other, pray to hear those words we said.

These blistered feet don't move so fast, aching for those days,
Carrying you and I, when they would chase you up the hill;
All they do now is shuffle along this cold dark floor.

This heart can't love anything these days, not like it once loved you;
Poured it all at your feet, watched it drain away,
Now all I have is this gaping wound, the place where I held you.

The only comfort in this lonely pain,
The only thing that's forever;
The only thing that's true.

Tuesday 11 October 2011

Between The Black Of Night

In the Payne's grey hue of morn,
I wake to the sweet melody
Of raindrops on puddles and guttering;
A sweet song of light rain and silence,
A dance, serene, and nothing more.
The night before had brought me out,
Into the cool dim of the streets I know,
Walking the boundary,
Marking my place;
I meandered through side-streets and alleys,
Drifting on a shadowy wake,
Seen from just the corner of the eye,
And never seen again.
I rest, I breath, I spray my mark,
In the places you speed up;
I watch you in your Halloween black world,
Smiling, and blind,
You never see me in the places you don't look.
We pass each other by, carry on,
Never two worlds to cross,
Even though we live in the very same place,
Yet come the ashen sky, pulling forth the day,
You don't see where I lie, alone,
In the Payne's grey morn, I am gone.

Monday 10 October 2011

You Spin The Wheel (The House Always Wins)

I am a trouble, bad news;
That guy you're all warned about,
I live fast, I'm handsome, and I know I'm going to die young;
I'm not scared! Misadventure, drugs, women, booze?
But there is no time for a snooze,
If your not fast your last,
Or at least that is what I used to say,
Way back in the past, when I caught myself out,
I slowed down, I stopped,
'I need to take care of me',
Yet I always have been this selfish man,
I've done it since day one: I do it unconsciously;
So what did I mean, what did it all mean?
Love god, love thy neighbour, sit down, stand up;
Love the queen?
I tried it all, all with the help of the lies,
The feted fakery of life's green-screen;
Create the mood, set the tone,
And you can have it all: five-ten but I was feeling
Ten feet tall,
They say that the greater the height
The easier it is to use the elevator,
Or something along those lines.
But I am lost in this life and I don't know where to go;
I am trying to programme my satellite navigator,
Come one come all, see my failings,
See the one man comedy show,
The tragedy of me; all smoke and mirrors,
And now it is a foggy day, with me
Just a blank shadow, a stain
On the crisp white blanket:
Strong bleach and a boil wash will sort that out.
I am a man of many problems,
Heck, they say it everyday,
Wrap them up, write my address, and send them on their way;
Someone phone France, and ask them if a problem can come stay,
Either one of us have to get away,
And when I come back on that sunny day,
I will have time on my side, I will know what to say;
Like Santa reading letters come Christmas day.
I will say;
I am sorry I'm so naughty,
But your so nice,
We tried it once, we've both grown,
And I am a good boy now,
So why shouldn't we try it twice?
Then I will see, that hole dug by me,
And I will know the time;
Time to use it,
The wings have beat,
I have already lost you,
So I start each day and bid the rest
Adieu!

Pyjama Thoughts On A Monday

In the tired, lonely grey mornings
I find peace, in the silence
The mute wind combing trees,
And leaves from trees, mottled streets
Of cordovan, crimson and ecru;
Workers struggling to move,
On the way to work, in the absence of light,
Never to see the day,
In a day struggling to even get going.
The dirty unshaven world,
Late out of bed, with black bag eyes,
And a cold, ear-burning head;
A day for hot mugs, in-front of hot fires,
With hot kisses, hot topics, hot actors
In that hot new film, on that hot DVD
You got from that hot guy in the pub last week.
Still, its Monday, you have to go to work;
You put your coat on, step outside,
The Autumn morning, waiting there,
Punches you straight in the face.
I find peace in the silence,
Before I get out of bed in the morning.

Saturday 8 October 2011

Alone In The Dark

It will hunt you down,
Track you like a wolf,
It will take you by surprise
With smiles, and for the moment
All of you engulf,
It will wear you down with kindness,
Wire walking
Upon those heart-strings,
Ever cool, ever talking,
It will give the angels wings.
Then as it has you cornered,
And ready for the kill,
It will leave you go,
Wont take you heart, wont take your soul,
Its the hunt that gives the thrill.
It will always have its mate
And a pack back at its den,
The one to forever sate.
The one, the tomorrow,
The where; the when?

Thursday 6 October 2011

At The Forefronts Of Science

Whom decided, on cod liver oil?
Was it those people, with the big noses,
Those big hats, and the cauldron on the boil?
Don't you find it so bizarre, That a person
Might stuff a duck full of food, cut out the liver,
And call it foie gras!
What call we these people, with their discoveries now,
That are so widespread, and so often revered?
I call them scientists, I call them pioneers,
Although I think in their own time,
They might have been somewhat feared!
So this one goes to all those,
That dare to ask, and dare to put it to the test,
Lay aside your morals, and your ethics;
Please continue your experiments,
And to wash with the rest.

Once I Get In

You have pushed me off on a downward spiral,
We were meant to be friends,
The relief of coming up for air,
Leaving divers with the bends.
I know its not you but me,
Your just a little bit of soap powder,
I'm just water thinking I'm running free.
I need to get out of this tunnel,
I can feel it coming in on me;
I'm all out of mushroom
And the little door out,
Is barely big enough to see,
Someone show me the sign,
O, give me that bottle,
The one over there,
The one labelled, 'Drink Me'.

Walking In The Wind

As the sand swarms about our feet,
And little grains break away
Biting at the skin, the face
And whatever is exposed,
From beneath the layers,
From within;
Bitten, biting
Like the sea at our toes.

We crouch down, inside
The divot on the dunes,
You shiver the cold north sea
From your skin, catching our breath,
And getting a taste for your surroundings.

I lie in the silence of this;
The exposed cave,
And flat on my back I feel
The warmth and peace,
The wild nothing of Autumn,
As it all comes and goes,
But nothing stays,
Nothing sticks in the change.
With the last harvest in
It's away with the hoes.

The clouds rush by;
Late to rain somewhere else today,
And the brisk sun-filled morning,
Soon gives way, to the grey hue
Of the early afternoon.
The cold, distant days have arrived,
Forcing their way to the front;
Charging on the austru:
The terminal breath of Summer.

We pick ourselves up
From this borrowed time,
Heading back to where the sun died.
Hugging close to the soiled,
Clay stained dunes, and land-slip cliffs,
We avoid the armies of sand
Hunting for a foe, running themselves into the waters.
The wind screams at us,
The gull carcasses crunch underfoot;
And for that time, right there,
We were a part of this world.

National Poetry Day 2011

What is a poem, what is a word,
Is it an expression, a digression maybe,
To tell the world of love and hate,
Or what you ate; maybe that your having a baby!

What makes up a poem?
Is it just words, similes, metaphor, and metre;
Or is it your angst, your felicitous love,
Something so much deeper?

We see poets everyday, and everywhere we look,
And we read, see, smell and taste the poetry
In every face, smile, frown, every flower blossom,
Every branch in the wind that is shook.

You can take it all in, forget, and it is gone the while;
But I urge you to take the second, Stop!
Look up through the trees at the sky, Watch the dance of the people in the street,
Feel the grass through your toes and feet, and take a deep breath and smile.

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Back Away From The Teddy And Remove The Thumb From Your Mouth

You were just a little girl that day,
Just a little kid with a temper;
I thought it would take it all away,
If I could take you far away,
But this I never meant for.
We went, and we lived, and survived the nights;
We walked, we talked, we looked out at the city lights.
You didn't live for you though,
You didn't learn how to;
Times got hard and you lost your will;
Here comes the cliché on life;
Out there you are killed or kill!
I pray for you to grow up,
To achieve what you deserve,
For you do have the passion, the beauty,
The intelligence, and a personality
To realise your worth.
Be the person you should be,
All that you can be,
Live life; be free,
Don't just follow,
You have to live for you, Think
I have to live for me!

Letter To A. P.

I was never crazy,
I was never mentally ill;
I just placed myself on the edge,
And questioned everything.

I don't know if you could
See this, but your eyes said they knew.
You talked to me, and done your job;
I guess like you were supposed to do.

I just write to say thank-you,
I am not sure even why;
I know you didn't change anything,
And you didn't stop me wanting to die.

Yet talking to you made me see there was more:
There used to be the line,
But it can be anywhere, and you don't need to throw yourself over it,
Just to find out what is in store.

I know you will be great,
For the good get greater,
And someone big will see what I saw,
Sooner or later.

You wont want to see me any more,
To be honest neither do I;
So I thank you once again,
And I guess this is goodbye,

Tuesday 4 October 2011

Put That Butter Knife Down I have Something To Say To You

I sit and I think, and I feel,
I laugh, I cry, I giggle, squiggle
And I squeal; I scream,
I live, I dream, I nibble the cheese,
I eat the curds, And I drink the cream.
I stay in one spot, And then I not,
I get what I'm given, and I have got what I've got,
I sweat when I'm hot, in the Dam I smoke pot,
And I am sticking around, until I have seen the lot.
I watch, I listen, I talk, and I joke,
I bake, I eat bacon, egg whites and the yolk,
I drink, and I quit, and I quit quitting, and I smoke,
I'm calm, I'm relaxed, I'm cool, and collected,
I'm hyper, I'm active, I've ants in my pants.
I'm nice, I'm kind, I say thank-you, please, merci, thank-you-thanks,
I talk crass, and say words like; cunt, cock, shit, cack, and wank;
See I don't take kindly to an insult, but you can call me a plank!
I plank, I owl, I timber yard, and I timber-wolf,
I play pitch-and-putt, and crazy golf,
Once in a while I play at telling the truth,
I'm a player, I'm animal, I'm a man of the wild,
Dress me up and I'm a cad, a bounder, and so very uncouth,
But no matter my age, I am epitome of youth.
That is just life, and I am who I am,
I will live this life, the best way that I can:
I am but one person, I am my own man;
And I decide whether the sandwich
Is cheese, or whether the sandwich is ham.

Looking For The Context (You Have Forgotten The Content)

Why have you, chosen to forget
What I said, in the beginning,
Just before we first met?
I explained I was free,
A duet: we can just not be,
And yet this is spilling,
From the faces of people,
In places where we go,
And its sticky like treacle.
It kills all freedom,
Kills all fun,
Kills the friendship we could have had,
When I'm pushed away,
And people say;
He's she's hers his there were,
Over there, goes your lad.
Your only tying yourself
To something, that will slip away,
Unnoticed: gone,
But don't think, don't blame me,
Asking where did it go wrong,
Sit back, think, wait,
I've got weight,
We had discussed this before
Our first date;
And don't say I made things hard,
Pouring love and affection
On you, that is how it works,
That is just what to do;
To fill our need, not our life,
Not anything more,
Just a few dates
Every week, or two,
And besides I am gone,
Going, gone for good,
In a month, or two.
Now don't think me wrong,
I love spending time with you,
When you are here;
But I dread and I fear,
That you think and you feel,
That we are more than we are.

Sunday 2 October 2011

Pine Scented Tears

You were crazy, and possibly still are,
And never in a good way,
Too much; way, way too far.
Something about you always said,
That no matter how much love I gave,
It would never change what was in your head.
I gave you love and adored you so,
Even though I knew that day would come,
The day you broke my heart, The day I had to go.
I knew that day would come: nothing lasts,
Nothing lasts forever, and so our future's done,
Just a part of each's pasts,
Any time is always better than never.

My sweetest memory, my greatest ever smile;
My heart still often aches for you,
Love lost's pain is not something that heals 'in a while'.