The Line Up (Wooly-back Big Brother)

He wakes up every morning,

A quarter hour before going to bed,

And hangs his washing

By an open fridge instead.

He learnt to swim,

From a wayward motorboat,

And he always bathes, in a duffel coat.

Now, when he goes out,

On a date with a lady,

He always gifts her,

A large jug of gravy;

But if they spill just one drip,

For them,

It's a punch in the lip,

For he learnt that from the land navy.

Now he has got green hair,

And eyebrows that meet,

But nothing distracts,

From him having hands as feet,

This doesn't deter him much though,

As he is the only woman I know,

Who talk on the phone, knit, make tea and hang the washing (by an open fridge),

All in one go,

So it only goes to show...

That we all know what we know,

And if haven't seen this girl,

With the beard that meets half-way,

And the bottom so rotund,

You could balance the dinner tray,

Then it is probably because they don't want to meet you.