Wednesday, 2 November 2011

As I Suck The Blood From Between My Teeth And Gums

In the bleak black night I search for the faces,
And listen for those noises;
I wait for them to get closer,
Until it is too late to escape,
Hiding my eyes I scare myself,
Thinking of all those stories that I once read;
Murderers, rapists, the sadistic unstoppable un-dead.
They never come, I'm not in a hurry,
I can wait for my bloodied last gasp,
My last agonising scream cut short in the flurry;
Steel, blades, metal; stricken flesh and bone,
I feel this, I can taste the iron in my mouth:
The smile that lights my face with fire,
I gulp the saliva down, it lets out a chortle;
I bite my lip and tongue and think,
Of all the times I've pressed the point,
Of the double bevel, thinking,
Once you break the skin,
You roll the snowball down that hill,
Once you break the skin,
You might as well just kill;
But I bide my time, I ferment myself,
Like the perennial bigos stew,
Floating on the effervescence
Of this playful little ruse.
I cogitate in bed, my mind begins to creep,
It poses the questions, that I dream
The answers to, in my sleep.
I could act at any moment,
And I've nearly let it slip;
But I shall tarry my time,
I shall play my part, along this merry trip;
They think they have the best of me,
I'm not the captain of the ship,
But I stand by the anchor,
And I'm poised, ready to let rip:
You either float along in the river,
And take what comes your way;
Or you hold on to the rock, you swim and swim and swim,
And you pray and pray and pray;
Yet you pray to empty idols, those that never answer,
The scriptures in their names only
Infect us like a cancer;
Why live and die in a name, or a face,
That you cannot read or see,
The only god to believe, that true trinity,
Is what we all think, see and feel;
My doppelganger, my environment, and their tool,
Their tool which is me.
I am their blade, I provide with what they need,
I kill their prey, I cut their food,
I protect them from the night,
And when our time is spent, I
Shall cut out the eyes,
I shall turn out the light.
I am the bloodied sword of self-justice,
The pen-knife of the wise;
I am the spearhead of protection,
The dagger of one's guise.
We live and die alone, trapped within ourselves,
We climb out of the pit we are born,
With rocks to help and hold,
Sand that pulls us down, and for a purpose,
Stories to be told.
Let me tell you a story, before I begin to forget,
Before I become too old.
This is the story of a man,
That knew what life was for;
Now he knew it was all interlinked,
The priest, with the worms,
The eagle and the whore;
But like the amoeba, man,
The wood that makes the door;
That you hide your thoughts behind,
Thoughts that everyone has had before;
His life had little purpose,
From everything he read, to everything he saw,
And everyday he would awake, after he had seen,
The very same postulate, in his nightly dream;
What is this life and what is my goal,
I see no spirit, and I see no soul;
So he sat around and pondered, on what it all might be,
And he came to the decision, he would see
What he couldn't see;
He put his plan into action, all provisions in place,
What was necessary.
He came out on top, learnt what he knew;
Life is just for living, there is nothing special to it,
Ask the animals, they will say its true;
You do what you have to, to get what you want to.
Now this man lives his life, knowing
That we can never know,
But no matter what happens, it is all part of the show;
So I push this blade against my neck,
And feel my pulse slip back, I laugh,
Just imagine if I began to hack.
We have it all to experience and everything is fun,
To hold a woman in your arms,
To hold a woman in her thoughts,
To hold a loaded gun;
We load one bullet, pass it around;
Welcome to our new game-show,
When I am gone, turn to the next contestants,
And tell them;
Either you, or I, or both, must go.
Live your life, like I have mine,
Like no one else I see,
Take with you everything and make it,
Everything you be,
Carry no bags, and carry no water,
Just you follow me,
And when the time is right,
I will eat you and you can eat me;
And we can laugh as we die,
And throw empty curses to the sky,
Laugh at the thought of those who cry;
I couldn't even if I was to try;
Don't ever frown don't ever sigh,
Unless you have a good reason why;
Listen and watch, don't ever pry,
Use the power of a lie;
But never forget to enjoy,
That most perfect moment in life:
When you live, love, hurt, laugh, kill, cry,
Fail, lose,
And most importantly, when you die.

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